Public Displays of Affection

In spite of the glaring evidence to the contrary (as in I write a open-to-the-public blog), I am pretty private regarding my relationship with Ben. I don't really talk about the state of our union with anyone that is not Ben. I'm happy to tell people what's new or what we are up to (activities, dinners we've made, Halloween costumes), but I just don't talk about how we're feeling or any issues we have. I think it's good and healthy that we have a strong relationship without input from a variety of people with whom we share our personal business. Maybe it's because I didn't have a lot of close girlfriends when we got together, so I just never got in the habit. Maybe I am, much to my surprise, actually a private sort of person (though I somehow doubt that). Who knows. I just know that I am comfortable with our relationship being between just the two of us.

A wedding (and really, a marriage) flies in the face of that privacy. It is a big, messy, public declaration of feelings with lots of input and opinions and contribution from other people. AND, as many a wise person has said before I, you don't just marry a person, you marry their family. So my nice, cozy, private relationship for two is about to get much more public. Sigh.

In all fairness, I want to share this with my closest family and friends. I want to make my public declaration that this is IT, and we are in it for the long haul. There are just a few things about it that make me a little uncomfortable. The big one right now is the vows.

I am not a traditional sort of girl, we are not having a traditional wedding, and the vows that go along with traditional ceremonies just don't seem like us. Which usually means writing your own vows. So, that's the route we're going. But every time I think about standing up in front of everyone I know and talking about my  feelings, my very private feelings, I feel very uncomfortable. Like squirming on your chair, red faced, Oh-God-please-let-lightening-strike-this-building-before-they-call-on-me uncomfortable. Isn't sharing all of that in front of everyone including his MOM really embarrassing? Can't I just read I Like You by Sandol Stoddard Warburg? It pretty much sums it all up, in charming verse.

Source

Has anyone else struggled with personal vows? Am I the only one uncomfortable sharing something so...personal?

And so I leave you with words of wisdom (and potentially my vows):

I like you because I don’t know why but
Everything that happens is nicer with you
I can’t remember when I didn’t like you
It must have been lonesome then
I like you because because because
I forget why I like you but I do
-I Like You by Sandol Stoddard Warburg