In Which I Am an Over-Achiever

Yesterday was quite the day. Best Friend left, Ben had a birthday, and I was not feeling well. I am pretty sure it was a severe sugar hangover coupled with a sore throat and generally yucky feeling.

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 So, as you may expect, after a blow-out weekend with Best Friend in town, and feeling like Death's slightly warmer friend, Pestilence, I was not up for a big birthday celebration. Plus, Ben doesn't actually care about his birthday and forgot it was coming and didn't really want to do anything.

Nevertheless, I feel incredibly guilty that I didn't arrange something more exciting than curry on the couch watching the movie I bought him for his birthday. I feel like a bad wife for not planning in advance and making him excited about it (not that I've ever seen him excited about anything that wasn't architecture related, generally he only is slightly less ambivalent, and that's how you tell he's stoked about something). Worse, for my birthday, I got an engagement ring. For his? He got Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. And I know the thought of wearing jewelry creeps him out, so I couldn't get him the same thing, but those weren't even on par.

So, even though we are 10 months out from our spectacular-spectacular event, I am already practicing being a bad wife. How's that for over-achieving?

Best Friend Time!

Hi! I still love you all but....my Super-Bestest-Friend is here! Visiting me! For the first time in a year (and then some)! So, I'm busy. I'll see you later, but I'll leave you with some best friend action.



You can thank me later.

At What Point Does It Stop Being A Theme and Start Being A Costume Party?

You know how they say there is a thin line between genius and insanity? I think that line is even thinner between theme and costume party. This is a line I struggle with, because I really love a theme. I fact, once upon a time, when Ben and I got together it involved hosting a Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou themed party. A party that may have crossed the line (the apartment was decorated with hand made fish and a jaguar shark cake was served). Have I mentioned that we are Wes Anderson fans? No?

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So, as you may have noticed as you peruse the wedding blogs the "blog chic" aesthetic that I love so, usually has some sort of organizing theme, be it a color, or a design motif, or a logo, or a very clearly expressed theme. Examples:

Color

 

 

Design Motif

 

 

Theme

 

 

See? Lots of adorable happening there. My problem is knowing when enough is enough. Because we all love Breakfast at Tiffany's but we don't want to all stand outside in black evening gown and tiara's and only eat breakfast pastries and drink champagne. And listen to Moonriver of repeat. And have long cigarette holders as favors. And maybe those eyemasks with eyelashes on them. And ivitation that look like the movie poster. Or maybe we do? Because that all sounds really cute to me!!! You see where I get into trouble? That's not even the theme I was thinking of personally, that was just an example off the top of my head. Imagine if I spent months thinking about it.

Sigh. Since I clearly have a hard time holding myself back once I get on a role, I have decided to follow the immortal fashion advice that my mother says comes from Coco Chanel: when you are all dressed and ready to go, look in the mirror and take two things off. If I apply that diligently to my planning. I should be able to tone things down enough that we get "cute" and not "cute for a four year old's birthday party."

Anyone else out there getting carried away with their theme?

Where the Magic Happens

So where was I? Oh right, talking about my wedding.

Since my venue was the decision that most concerned me (obsessed me? Whatever.) it was the one I needed to take care of right away. Plus there is the paranoid panic that all the good places will be taken if I don't book my place right now. A year +2 month out. Because that really happens. In a major metropolitan city. Where there can only possible be like 5 good venues. Anyhoo...

When I visited my family in Chicago right after my engagement (literally 2 weeks after), I arranged appointments at my top 2 places, both restaurants with good outdoor dining space, found through TimeOut Chicago. Visit 1 was to Piccolo Sogno.

Piccolo Sogno:

Inside (source)

 

Outside (source)

 

 

 It was lovely, absolutely charming. The back patio area was like a fairy tale forest, all the trees were wrapped in twinkle lights. I really liked the space, plus there was on-site parking. However, at our budget, it would have to be a early afternoon wedding with brunch reception. And though they were very friendly, the customer service didn't make me confident that they were comfortable having a wedding. They were very unsure about the details and couldn't give me a straight answer about a vegan/vegetarian menu. 8/10

Volo Wine Bar:

Inside and Out (source)

 Volo was great. Its a little edgier, a little more hip. The outdoor space is a great cobblestone courtyard with cabanas and a "barn" (which is pictured above). Cozy, urban rustic, and at a great price. The size was also much more suited to my tiny wedding. Even better, this restaurant/wine bar is gaining some popularity as an off-beat wedding venue, so they have hosted several weddings and are confident about doing so. They will also act as a day of coordinator AND have had several vegetarian events. AND they have this adorable private wine cellar to get ready and take pictures and have some private time. AND did I mention the cabanas? Can you envision how adorable they are (perhaps by looking at the picture above with the bride and groom seated in the cabana)? No? Ok here's a (nother) picture:

Barn and Cabanas (source)

The cabanas line one side of the courtyard and lead up to the barn, both pictured (a bit fuzzily above). 10/10

So, those are the reviews. Can you guess which one I chose? Is the anticipation killing you? I know me, too!

The winner is: VOLO Wine Bar!!!!!!! Yay!

I was (and still am) completely in love with my venue. I feel much more excited about it that the dress shopping (for now...). How did/do you feel about you venue? Were you excited about it, or just excited to get it crossed off the list?

I'm taking a stand against tradition

Great Love Songs That Are Completely Inappropriate for My Wedding, Pt. 3:


I mentioned that Ben and I are paying for this wedding thing ourselves, and that the joy of that is that you can take a stand against things you hate (I totally just erased that word, since it seemed a little strong, and then realized, no, I meant hate, and put it back in) and your parents like, and since they aren't paying, you win. Yay! So, I acknowledge that what I am about to say may be somewhat controversial. I will remind you that these are songs that are inappropriate for my wedding, you do what you want at yours.

I am taking a stand against Paradise By The Dashboard Light by Meatloaf, a perennial wedding favorite, and one song that my mother specifically requested. And I said "No." (I also felt like a bad daughter for saying it, because, really, it's such a little thing but I really really don't like it for my wedding).




Ok, I get it. It's funny. It's wedding related. It's a classic. It's also eight minutes long, which is like an eternity. And it's not nice about marriage. And we aren't getting married because I put out. And Ben better not be praying for the end of time. And I really want to tear my hair out everytime the baseball player announcer part comes on. Sorry, Mom.

P.S. How hysterical is this video of Meatloaf? I love the "sultry" faces he keeps making at the camera.

Further Notes from the Planning Underground

Top Secret dispatches from within the Bureau. Transcript below from top agents. Burn after reading.


Sister to Self: If I had 18 brothers and sisters, I really don't think I would be able to remember all of their middle names. Or their birthdays.

Self to Sister: An excellent point. Thank you for sharing. Was this apropos of anything?

Sister to Self: Oh, sorry. Commercial for 18 kids and counting. One of the kids yelled at the other using their entire name. I was impressed she remembered.

Self to Sister: Well, do you know my middle name and birthday (with correct spelling)? Or how about Mister's, since in 10 months, he'll be family?

Sister to Self: Good point. I should put his birthday in my phone calendar. When is it?

Self to Sister: The 16th. And isn't that weird? After a whole life of not having to use the word brother, you'll have a brother-in-law.

Sister to Self: Of what month? Yes, that is weird. It sounds very grown up. Like how I wanted glasses and a cast while I was in grade school because they seemed so cool, I wanted an in-law like other people had.

Self to Sister: This month. Like in 11 days. Which is why we were talking about presents. I know right!? Glasses seemed so cool. So did braces, until you got them. Hope brother-in-law turns out better for you.

Sister to Self: At least braces got us out of first period and gave us an excuse to get BurgerKing breakfast. I'm sure Mister can at least live up to that.

Self to Sister: I don't know. Do you remember how good a Croissan'wich is?

Public Displays of Affection

In spite of the glaring evidence to the contrary (as in I write a open-to-the-public blog), I am pretty private regarding my relationship with Ben. I don't really talk about the state of our union with anyone that is not Ben. I'm happy to tell people what's new or what we are up to (activities, dinners we've made, Halloween costumes), but I just don't talk about how we're feeling or any issues we have. I think it's good and healthy that we have a strong relationship without input from a variety of people with whom we share our personal business. Maybe it's because I didn't have a lot of close girlfriends when we got together, so I just never got in the habit. Maybe I am, much to my surprise, actually a private sort of person (though I somehow doubt that). Who knows. I just know that I am comfortable with our relationship being between just the two of us.

A wedding (and really, a marriage) flies in the face of that privacy. It is a big, messy, public declaration of feelings with lots of input and opinions and contribution from other people. AND, as many a wise person has said before I, you don't just marry a person, you marry their family. So my nice, cozy, private relationship for two is about to get much more public. Sigh.

In all fairness, I want to share this with my closest family and friends. I want to make my public declaration that this is IT, and we are in it for the long haul. There are just a few things about it that make me a little uncomfortable. The big one right now is the vows.

I am not a traditional sort of girl, we are not having a traditional wedding, and the vows that go along with traditional ceremonies just don't seem like us. Which usually means writing your own vows. So, that's the route we're going. But every time I think about standing up in front of everyone I know and talking about my  feelings, my very private feelings, I feel very uncomfortable. Like squirming on your chair, red faced, Oh-God-please-let-lightening-strike-this-building-before-they-call-on-me uncomfortable. Isn't sharing all of that in front of everyone including his MOM really embarrassing? Can't I just read I Like You by Sandol Stoddard Warburg? It pretty much sums it all up, in charming verse.

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Has anyone else struggled with personal vows? Am I the only one uncomfortable sharing something so...personal?

And so I leave you with words of wisdom (and potentially my vows):

I like you because I don’t know why but
Everything that happens is nicer with you
I can’t remember when I didn’t like you
It must have been lonesome then
I like you because because because
I forget why I like you but I do
-I Like You by Sandol Stoddard Warburg